I am a 40-year-old and my wife is 34 years. We have been
married for about 12 years with three kids.
The problem is that she does not satisfy me séxually and this
has made me patronise other women for séx. I am a pastor,
but in the last four years, I have had to sleep with two
different ladies to satisfy my séxual urges. My wife’s attitude
is bad — she would not cook on time; she is dirty and never
makes any move to ask for séx. She only agrees whenever she
senses that I am angry.
I love her but how do I address this? I want to have her in
bed daily because I have stopped all extra-marital affairs since
the year began. I had already confessed to her and other co-
pastors and I was forgiven.
But there are times I want to go back to my old girlfriends
due to loneliness...
What do I do? I have reported her to her family members and
my pastors to no avail. What do I do? - M.I, Ibadan
Reply from Punch's Kemi Ashefon: As a pastor, you are
supposed to serve as an example in good works which include
taming the flesh. This is an issue you must address physically
and spiritually. If you don’t face your marriage and work
things out with your wife, it can collapse and that will affect
your ministry.
Carry your wife along in mapping out the best time for séx
because it may not be convenient for a mother of three
children, who also takes care of the home, to have séx daily.
You can be more involved in spiritual activities — prayers,
fasting and a thorough study of the word of God. These should
help take your mind off séx for a period of time.
Lastly, I think your wife also got some things wrong in her
walk with God as a pastor’s wife. The two of you need a re-
alignment with God and his instruction on marriage and séx.
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