catch the eye of the unsuspecting male, but once they've
caught a man's attention and have gotten him interested in
getting to know them more, a lot of them fumble their
chance. Here are some quick, actionable hints and tricks
for keeping a man interested. Note, this may be helpful,
but if you are different, maybe other things could help.
1 :Keep him intrigued. If he likes what he knows
so far, he'll make sure to come around more
often to find out more. Don't be a completely open
book, unless that's who you are naturally. Give the
relationship time to simmer, and space out some of
your revelations so that you still have the ability to
surprise him.
.....Maintain a little bit of mystery. Don't tell him
every little thing you're doing, every place
you've been to, every person you've seen.
Even if you didn't want to be a little
mysterious, sharing every little detail about
your past and your whereabouts is likely to be
draining to a man.
hunters, explorers, and daredevils, men
naturally love surprises. If you schedule a
surprise — going skydiving, for example, or a
cruise — don't be afraid to just whisk him
away and not tell him about it until he's right
in the thick of it.
about themselves. It's a natural fact of life.
Instead of dwelling on you and your past
relationships, ask him questions that show him you
are interested in him. If you get him going about his
past and his experiences — and can stand sitting
through the occasional boring story — he'll feel like
he's connected with you and has a bigger bond to
build on.
......If he likes a certain color, it wouldn't hurt to
wear that color every once in a while. If he
likes a certain food, it wouldn't hurt to
surprise him with lunch or dinner.
pluralistic with people from numerous different
cultural and ethnic backgrounds. If he is of a
different culture from you try as much as you
can to read and know a thing or two about his
heritage. He will love that.
.....In other words, pamper him a little bit .
Women loved to be pampered, but so do men.
They're just afraid to ask for it for fear of not
seeming "manly". Remember, don't coddle or
mother him, but do record his favorite TV
shows, get him tickets to a game (he can invite
his buddies if you don't want to go), or get him
that razor he's been talking about. It shouldn't
go unnoticed.
3: Find the balance between independence and
making sure he's loved. Guys are naturally
independent, meaning they need a little more space
than most women do. Make sure he feels like he has
a life outside of you. As much as he likes you,
nothing pains him more than to look at his life and
realize that he's lost touch with his friends and no
longer gets the respect for wearing the pants, so to
speak. Give him space some of the time.
...And if you're worried about trust, don't be.
Trust him. If he gives you a reason not to
trust him, then you can start questioning his
motives. The truth is that if you trust him and
he likes you, he won't want to give you a
reason to revoke that trust. If you don't trust
him when you should, he'll want to punish you
for not trusting him.
4: Make him feel like a man. There's nothing
wrong with boosting a man's ego. It makes him
feel good about himself and if he feels good about
himself because of a certain someone, he'll want to
keep her around. More than likely, he'll also return
the favor.
...Reinforce the way he wants to be viewed.
Does he consider himself an athlete ? Tell him
how muscular, coordinated, or skilled he is.
Does he consider himself an intellectual ? Tell
him how smart and profound he is. Does he
consider himself a comedian? Laugh at his
jokes and set him up to be funny.
....Let him be chivalrous. Pay attention to all the
"gentlemanly" things he does for you and
acknowledge them. When he opens the door,
pays for your meal, or lets you in first, make
him feel special!
.....Know that he'll most likely act different
around his guy friends. Never tolerate outright
disrespect, but if he acts a little strange, it's
because he's trying to impress his boys. If it
doesn't offend you, let him.
5: Keep public displays of affection to a minimum.
Men don't necessarily like to be forced into
holding your hand and kissing you in public. If he
does anyway, that's a bonus, and he's probably a
very decent guy. If not, don't try to make him.
Don't be upset or angry if he feels awkward about
doing it; males are closed-off creatures and don't
like to show their 'soft sides' to the public.
If you need a man who is comfortable showing
his love to you in public, tell him gently. Let
him know it's a priority to you, but that you
understand it might not be a top priority for
him. If he really likes or loves you, he'll be
open to compromise.
6:Be confident and look great. He prefers you to
other girls, so show you're proud of yourself!
And when it comes to looking great, know your guy.
Some guys are attracted to natural beauty; others
like a spray tan and eyelashes. Either way, dress to
show that you're comfortable and confident with
your body but make sure you don't go over the top.
Don't compare yourself to other women. Not
even in a way that seems acceptable. To a
guy, this comparison screams "insecurity," and
the guy is suddenly worried that he might have
to be your psychologist instead of your
boyfriend.
7:Don't do anything too sexual until your
relationship is close and comfortable. Starting
too early causes the initial excitement to quickly
drain from a relationship. Why? Because guys (and
girls, for that matter) like challenges. As twisted as it
may seem, he likes the chase almost as much as
anything else. Give him a good chase (without being
too hard-to-get), and he'll be around for the whole
hunt.
As a general rule of thumb : expect a kiss or
two the first couple of dates; some heavy
petting perhaps the next couple of dates; and
consider, not necessarily agree to, sex only
after the fifth date. If you go on a date every
week, this will give you more than a month to
suss him out. If you still don't feel
comfortable, make him wait.
Once you have developed a sexual
relationship, try to keep it interesting. A
couple things to consider as you explore each
other's sexuality:
Initiate sex at least some of the time.
Guys don't always want to be the one
asking for it. They certainly want sex,
but it makes them feel greedy. Initiate
some of the time and you'll keep him
happy.
Ask him what his fantasies are. If
you're comfortable with acting them out,
give them a try. There's nothing sexier
to a guy than a girl who cares about his
deepest desires.
Help him feel adequate. Be open about
what he can do to please you sexually.
Give him encouragement when he does
something good. Never tease or make
jokes about length, performance, etc., as
guys are especially sensitive about it.
8:Give him massages! After a long hard day at
work and stress of after-work traffic, men love
to be given a nice body, back, or foot massage. If
you have the time and energy, throw in a pedicure
and manicure. You may even get the same treatment
in return, especially if you ask for it! A guy who
won't give you a nice long massage after you've
given one to him doesn't deserve to have you dote on
him.
9:If he's been in fewer relationships than you, be
patient and understanding if he doesn't quite
comprehend the basic rules of living together. Men
find it difficult to understand why they should let
you watch your favorite chick flick, even though you
have already patiently sat through a four-hour
basketball game, and went to watch Transformers
just to make him happy. Similarly, there is a chance
that they are reluctant to do housework.
Try to resolve issues calmly through
conversation. Listen to his perspective, stay
calm, and be open to compromise. At the same
time, gently show him your perspective and
suggest something actionable, not abstract —
i.e. "I'll be happy to do the laundry if you can
be in charge of garbage and recycling."
Don't hound him about things. He'll feel like
you've turned into his mother, and probably not
in a good way. Quietly expect him to do what
you've asked him to do — remember the rule
about trust? — and give him time to get it
done. If he doesn't, explain to him in rational
terms why it's important. Sometimes, a push
is all men need.
10 : Find out who he is. We spend our lives
looking for someone who we think understands
us the way that our family and loved ones do. If
you can assure him, much less show him, that you
understand him at times better than he understands
himself, he'll have a hard time leaving you.
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